The Return of My Substack (Again): Why I Can't Let Go of Jared Allen's Speech

We have heard this song and dance before but this time it comes with some unfiltered thoughts.

My earliest football memory is receiving a Steve McNair powder blue jersey.

I remember thinking, “This isn’t a Steelers jersey.” I grew up and still remain in Western Pennsylvania; all I ever was told was how good the Steelers were, how special the Terrible Towel was, and my grandpa’s bad call foam brick. I never missed a Sunday with him; he made football special, and it remains that way.

When I got my first full-time job covering football for The 33rd Team in 2022, he was my first call. To this day, we still shoot texts back and forth, and while I may not be as high on Will Howard as he is, it is a nice reminder of why I do what I do and how I got here.

Now, as I stroll down memory lane, it is funny to mention that my grandpa always hated the NFL Draft. Perhaps it goes back to him being mad that I told him Chris Johnson was a better prospect than Rashard Mendenhall in the 2008 NFL Draft. I had no film, just a 40-yard dash time to go off of. However, the 2007 NFL Draft, the fall of Brady Quinn, and the curious case of so many in that class is what got 13-year-old me obsessed with the NFL Draft.

To this day, now as a husband and father of two, my wife knows that from January to the end of April, she has to share me. She shares me with the process in which I am far from perfect from but cannot pull myself away from. And I know, she loves seeing me be so passionate about my work.

This Summer, while I watched over 100 prospects, that passion wavered.

It's Okay to Not Be Okay

If you have followed me on social media for some time, I am very transparent, or at least I used to be, about my mental health.

Talking about it helps others. Although I haven't shared on the timeline in a while, I am writing to anyone who reads my Substack or sees this on social media channels.

This Summer, I hit a point where I just felt like I couldn’t do it anymore. My schedule was packed, I was living my dream of covering a team in the NFL (hell, I am covering two), so NFL Draft content took a back burner. This Substack and my YouTube channel, which didn’t even get a millimeter off the ground, were what ended up being lost.

I wasn’t okay, and it is okay not to be okay. I lost the happiness that watching players and prospects once brought me. I would build my watchlist and spend hours fine-tuning it, but that was also gone. I often joked that my mind had so much bandwidth, and I had no more to spare for the draft. Deep down, this realization made me sad, as it had me on edge. I personally feel that my work suffered because I lacked another outlet to relax with.

Yesterday, my therapist told me he had seen me for weeks, building up tension. He told me I was bound for a blowup that would set me back even further, but I promised him that before my session next week, I would fix things.

I would find a way to relax, a way to find some positivity. I need a hobby again, and it is back.

Jared Allen’s Hall of Fame Speech Won’t Leave My Head

When Jared Allen was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, he cited his why. He said his why was fear, respect, and the pursuit of greatness and those three things really spoke to me.

We all have those three things motivating us in any job or dream we are pursuing. It is what makes me want to try and be the best writer, editor, and analyst each day.

I have a fear that I am being outworked every day. I am not afraid to admit it, I know I am not the best at what I do, but I can outwork a lot of folks. I also have a fear that I won't be able to defend my work or explain what I see in a player. We all have takes, it isn’t easy defending those, but at the end of the day, we find a way, I suppose.

The respect I have for those who work within the NFL media landscape is also not lost on me. I see people I look up to now continuing to show me what I should be doing. I now have friends who are excelling, and it can be a friendly competition to see who goes where. But the best part? We are excited for each other every step of the way because we love and respect each other.

The group of Tyler Forness, Devin Jackson, Dante Collinelli, and Mike Hrynyshyn is special. We have been through some ups and downs and no matter what, we never leave each other’s side.

In today’s media landscape, we all need to look out for each other, and many of us do. It is a special bond we have, and it truly is something that keeps me level-headed.

Without the group I mentioned above, I would’ve punted on this dream a while ago.

Last from Allen’s speech is the pursuit of greatness. When it comes to my work, getting the respect from my peers is the ultimate goal. Allen spoke about having the Sack Leaders up in his locker. For me, it comes down to seeing the work of those who have set the standard for me.

I know the pursuit is back at square one, it might even be a few squares behind that. All of that is okay, my head is finally level, and we are going to make chicken salad out of…

Here is What is Next for Me

If you've made it this far, thank you. Now, let's move on to our future plans.

This Substack is coming back.

I am not sure how many times a week, ideally three. For sure, though, Monday will have a scouting notebook from the college season, the middle of the week will have a preview piece or profile, and then Friday will give you a watch guide.

As for the YouTube channel, it will also have something. It will likely include reaction pieces, breaking news content, and other small or discussion-based videos. I will say, the Draft Professors and the Misses are Relevant Podcast network has been a blessing. That group of folks brought together by Jim Wickens is achieving something insane in that they have a YouTube channel talking about the NFL Draft seven days a week.

Being on there has helped me find myself again, and I am ready to be someone that readers will look for when the draft rolls around. When a player declares, they will look for this Substack and my work to see my thoughts on a player.

This is me putting that positive energy into the universe. I know it is listening and will be watching, and I hope you are as well.